EXPLOIT THE SCENE With Kyle “Kore” Parsons Episode 8: Scene Fads Pt.1: “I’m Suicidal” I have been on hiatus for a few weeks but I am back and ready to share some new thoughts. So in the next few episodes to come I’m going to post small disclaimers for each one, because I don’t believe you’re all fakes – just most of you. For the demographic this is in reference to, kids who call themselves suicidal are 99 percent bullshitters, and the one percent that do have suicidal tendencies are… well, unable to read this column. This is dedicated to you, 99 percentile. This topic originally came about from an ex who “attempted” suicide over a year ago, and though I will keep my opinions of her unfortunate failure to myself, it created a series of questions and opinions in the seriousness (or lack there of) and the psychology behind what we ordain as “suicide.” On three separate occasions, I chose to share the “Spark Notes” version of the story about my ex. Here is a brief example of how the beginning of each conversation went: Me: “[Insert name here] tried to commit suicide…” Friend: “Did she try to ‘commit suicide’ or did she really try and kill herself?” If you know anyone who has attempted suicide then I’m sure you have had this conversation at one point in time as well. This, my friends, is the definition I will use to make my points. “Suicide” has become a fabrication to kids for one of several reasons, while trying to “kill yourself” has now become the term used when people mean it. Have you noticed the shift in seriousness between what the term “suicide” is intended to mean, VS how the term “suicide” is now used? The word suicide has lost its luster and has just become another adjective to describe dark and contemplative sceney under-agers – or, people desperate for attention, even if it’s negative. Generally speaking, the connection between false suicide and the scene is just part of the stereotype of being “emo.” “Emo,” “suicidal,” they are both new-world adjectives that have lost the meaning they originated from and now have the same seriousness and legitimacy as calling a blonde person blonde, or a fat person fat. It’s just a descriptive word; it’s not a health risk. Not that you really need examples, but here you go anyway: “Cut my wrists and black my eyes.” Hawthorne Heights “The truth is, you could slit my throat and I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt.” Taking Back Sunday While the latter is one of my favorite bands, it is no wonder how the ideals of the scene were interpreted as irrational and overly-emotional. The dramatics have just trickled down from there, and now it seems as though the newest generation of scene kids are born with razorblades in-hand and a hunger for negative attention. There is this ridiculous glow about people who keep suicide attempt(s) up their sleeve for a rainy day, and conveniently “pull the suicide card” when they are seeking attention, wanting someone to feel sorry for how “hard [their] life is,” or to somehow impress someone with their reckless badass traits. Pretending to be suicidal doesn’t make you a dynamic person, it makes you an idiot. Side note: I am not only referring to “cutters” even with all the sharp-object remarks. Cutting is all for show; the cuts are part of the outfit. Now I am going to dissect a series of very obnoxious messages (as a whole) that I have received from literally dozens of people over the past couple years that have helped form these opinions. Again, I would like to point out that this is not a subject I take light-heartedly; it is only after the messages fall into a very A-typical pattern that I act negatively. I give the same speech to every person who messages me; call 1-800-SUICIDE and tell them, not me. The messages typically start off without any prior explanation, introduction, or even a hello. They are worded very briefly, urgently, and are often times punctuated in fragments to add to the dramatics of the message. Clearly suicidal people don’t have time to explain anything – they are too busy dwelling on whatever life-ruining events happen at age 15. “Hate life. Want to die. What do I do…?" I’m confused about the concept behind contacting a stranger through the internet and opening up about your suicidal tendencies. One could argue that sharing deep reoccurring thoughts with an unbiased and unaffected individual can be therapeutic. Maybe – but I can think of a dozen other reasons why a 15 year old girl would try to contact a 22 year old male. It’s sick when an individual uses such a touchy subject to force attention from someone that would otherwise have no intention of communicating with them. It is offensive – don’t buy yourself a response with lies and negativity, and don’t bank on anyone believing what you’re trying to sell. Again, this is not a dynamic person, and I am not wasting time humoring an individual like this, and convincing them of all the hundreds of reasons that they have to live for, and all the people that would be affected by their death, blah blah blah. Being suicidal doesn’t mean they want to end their life, it means they seek the attention that comes with the territory of being suicidal. They want to feel like someone cares. Acting suicidal is not a good way to build relationships. Lastly, I would like to share I have had a close friend that was suicidal, and unfortunately she is no longer here to share her opinion on these kinds of topics (not because she killed herself, we made it through that phase before she passed away.) One important thing that I learned from her is that suicidal people – do NOT advertise being suicidal. There is a psychological difference in someone who is suicidal VS someone who is pretending to be. Suicidal people are often met with depression, which means they aren’t clicking around through Myspace and leaving comments like “Omg totally! I can’t wait to see you!” (Yes I e-stalk these “suicidal” people.) Suicidal people also do not continually remind everyone in their social network about how suicidal they are with a Myspace status that says “I feel so suicidal, someone save me. Mood: depressed.” I respect that there are people out there that have a difficult time adapting to the struggles of life – but when all these physical and web-based facts work as evidence to devalue the illusion of their suicidal tendencies, then I can’t stop myself from exploiting a group of people that are so selfish and desperate. It’s a fad, you’ll grow out of it.
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