Salt Premiere and Signing Report! Pics + Video

Oh God… I so don’t want to be out today.  Sigh… I have Comic Con coming up, and I just don’t want to be out standing for hours on end… So why am I driving down to Hollywood Blvd you may ask? Ah, Good question… It’s the premiere for the Angelina Jolie movie Salt!  M’Lou and Megan are already there. Megan is Angelina’s biggest fan so got there at 10:30 in the morning… sigh… I am not that crazy!  Lol… I heard they had an interesting arts and crafts project as well, so I’m anxious to see it.

12:33 p.m. – I just arrived.  M’Lou and Megan are sprawled out on Hollywood blvd.  Megan actually taped off a section to save spots for us.  God bless her!  Lol…

12:43 p.m. – Megan put up a sign that says, “Yes, it’s an event and we don’t know anything!”  LOL… That’s hilarious. I can only assume that they were getting hit by lots of questions.

12:47 p.m. – I brought them some frosty beverages.  M’Lou is burning up.  She’s rubbing her lemonade on her neck.  Awww poor thing.  She’s going to be a burnt M’Lou….

1:01 p.m. – They are erecting… Heh, I said erecting… Ahem… They are building a giant SALT block letter sculpture for the red or I should say black carpet. It’s very cool.  Megan said she wants it as her headboard.  She’d have to have a very large room!

1:14 p.m. – The carpet is huge; I mean damn that’s a lot of press.

1:31 p.m. – The interesting thing about this premiere is that it’s all about one person, that person being Angelina Jolie.  I mean Brad Pitt too yes, but really Angelina is it.  Usually there are a number of people at a premiere, this time it’s all about one… and if you miss that one… it’s over.  That’s it, nada, nothing.

1:43 p.m. – Oh dear Jesus… There is a weird little pasty boy sashaying down Hollywood Blvd. in Ed Hardy Speedos…. I’m befuddled, repulsed and yet I have to watch.  It’s like watching a train wreck… you can’t stop.

2:01 p.m. – Scotty just showed up.  He said that pasty Speedo boy is dancing by Madame Tussauds in Hollywood… nice!  I’m even more befuddled… really, I am…

2:10 p.m. – I told Scotty he can stand behind M’Lou and me, although knowing him he’ll try and worm his way in… grrrrrrrrrrrrrr….

2:13 p.m. – I’m getting jealous, cause M’Lou has a stool, and Megan has a nice chair… I have only my two feet and the urinated on sidewalk… ah Hollywood, my old friend.

2:21 p.m. – Speedo boy keeps walking back and forth.  It’s like he’s using Hollywood Blvd as his own personal runway… “Work, work it girl, do your thing, on that runway!”

2:31 p.m. – Did I really just fucking quote Rupaul? Gulp… Why 1990’s WHY!

2:45 p.m. – We are all getting slap happy, because Megan pick pocketed my camera and is taking really bad pictures of M’Lou and me.  LOL…

2:51 p.m. – Megan has created a glitter extravaganza with this sign of hers.  It’s in three parts and stretches over the entire barricade.  Wow… It says, “Sign for your biggest fans Angelina” with arrows pointing up.  M’Lou did the red outlining on the arrows.  LOL…

3:01 p.m. – I had an epiphany today… and I mean in a big way… You see, when I first met M’Lou she was shy, and wasn’t super social.  Now, she’s this powerhouse who’s ball busting security, and flipping posters to get them signed… Well… Along with that, the ball busting side has crept into her personal life, and I’m now calling this other personality Elkins.  So now, there’s the nice sweet M’Lou and the mean Elkins.  M’Lou = Good, Elkins = Bad.

3:11 p.m. – Elkins just yelled at me for no reason again…  Elkins = Bad.

3:21 p.m. – Scotty just got back from Baja Fresh and now I think that M’Lou and I are going to go.  Megan and Scotty are going to hold the fort down.

3:39 p.m. – Off to Baja we go.

3:46 p.m. – Mmmmm salsa…. Did I mention I love salsa…?

3:54 p.m. – Oh dear God, Speedo boy is dancing, just like Scotty said!

4:01 p.m. – Oh my God… It’s hypnotic… like watching a lava lamp…

4:03 p.m. – He’s doing the shake now…

4:06 p.m. – M’Lou called this shimmy of a move the hula hoop I believe; I say it’s the washing machine…

4:10 p.m. – Elkins has not shown up for lunch. 

4:21 p.m. – We’re back… ah… Megan just left to get some churros…

4:35 p.m. – Oh, the vacuum is out… that means they are getting ready… only two more hours in the blistering heat to go… Dear God….

4:43 p.m. – I brought my Mr. and Mrs. Smith mini poster, my Salt Mini poster, and my Wanted mini poster.  I brought a few magazines and a couple Fight Club mini posters too…. Do I expect to get this signed…? HELL NO!  I’ll be lucky with two Angelina’s!

4:46 p.m. – Holy crap the crowd is really filling in… ugh…

4:55 p.m. – Janna just arrived with two new stools.  Yay, for Bed, Bath and the Beyond.

5:06 p.m. – Wow, the crowd is like five people deep now.  Scotty is trying to worm his way to the front… uh huh… He just wants to be behind the sign, I know his games…

5:11 p.m. – Scotty is now next to me.  I have claimed my rightful place behind the sign… harrumph!  Lol…

5:21p .m. – It’s this last hour and a half that’s the killer. You’re excited, but stuck in one place, and time goes sooooooo slow…

5:30 p.m. – Elkins just looked at her watch and was like, “It’s only been 10 minutes since I last looked, and it feels like an hour!!”  I try to say, yes… but… that doesn’t calm Elkins down.

5:33 p.m. – Next time… sun block.  I’m burning up, and M’Lou/Elkins has half of her face sunburned.  Megan says, she’s like the Phantom of the Opera.  Lol…

5:41 p.m. – Did I mention Annette wisely choose to sit this one out?

5:48 p.m. – The press are starting to line up… It’s getting closer….

5:51 p.m. – Or as Elkins said, “It’s only been 20 damn minutes; she needs to get here and sign this shit now so I can go home.”

5:58 p.m. – I have my posters out and Megan said I’m blocking the sign.  Let me just tell you, there’s glitter stuck to our sweaty bodies in every crack and orifice.  We look like we just got out of a gay disco at Mardi Gras.

6:01 p.m. – Except Elkins, who looks lovely and glistens in the sunlight like Robert Pattinson… don’t beat me Elkins.

6:06 p.m. – I just got yelled at for offering a child a free Salt mini poster.  Damn that that Mike for being nice!

6:11 p.m. – it’s these long days that are hard, simply because if you walk away with nothing its triple frustrating.  The heat, the tourists asking stupid questions, it all just wears on you… sigh… It’s fascinating how many people ask… “What’s that for?”  There’s a two story SALT sign… what do you think it’s for.  Megan’s been telling people it’s the new Ron Jeremy premiere.

6:21 p.m. – Any time… anytime… M’Lou has an Architectural Digest magazine about her hometown of New Orleans with Brad Pitt on the cover… she said she’s going to get it personalized… I’m laughing inside…

6:31 p.m. – Elkins is back… wow, it happens so fast….

6:36 p.m. – Cars are dropping people but no one… oh wait there’s Jon Voight… I’m glad he and Angie (I can call her Angie, we’re old pals) have reunited.  I may not like his politics, but I think it’s good when family gets along.

6:37 p.m. – Oh I see that guy has his Angelina painting, the same guy from Inception, and Jonah Hex… sigh… god Bless him… whatever floats his boat.

6:45 p.m. – Angie’s brother is here…

6:47 p.m. – Oh… oh… it’s them… What the hell… they are driving to the other end of the barricade!  Crap on a cracker… They are dropping at the other end of the line… SHIT!

6:53 p.m. – The crowd is going nuts over there… This is torture….

7:01 p.m. – I just saw Angie do a picture with someone… OH MY GOD!

7:03 p.m. – This is like torture knowing they are right there, and then waiting all day and being on the wrong side… I mean really, this sucks!

7:11 p.m. – They are starting to get closer now… Oh man… I’m nervous, tired and anxious all at the same time.

7:12 p.m. – Okay, they are both here… oh my God, Angie looks amazing!  She is about two barricades away… Brad is here too, he’s not signing much, Angie is first…

7:18 p.m. – I got Angie on my Wanted mini, and then she signed my Mr. and Mrs. Smith poster as well.  Dude I got two…. She looked right at me… I was like thank you!

7:21 p.m. – Brad comes over, but isn’t really signing and keeps saying I don’t have a pen… I say, here take this pen.  He takes it signs my Mr. and Mrs. Smith poster, and then…yes, he personalizes M’Lou’s magazine… She actually got him to do it!   Only M’Lou!  Not Elkins… M’Lou!  Lol…

7:27 p.m. – Wow, Megan got like two from each, M’Lou also got her Salt poster signed, but poor Scotty got a rock!  I feel so bad he is the only one of us that didn’t get anything.  He even said Angelina looked at him too.  Oh well… There’s always next time man!  I feel for you… I’m still excited over my Mr. and Mrs. Smith poster, cause it’s brilliant!  But sad for Scotty!  Was it worth the wait… well…? Yeah… lol… It was worth it!  LOL… Whoo hoo!

Check out our Salt premiere day video above and get an eye full of all of our Salt photos here.