Erica is a woman on a mission; she’s a dedicated little toaster that needs to get Josh Brolin on her Goonies postcard. One of the main reasons she is so dedicated is because earlier this year she got Josh Brolin to sign my Goonies poster… heh heh heh… anyway, so today is the premiere for Jonah Hex, Josh’s new movie and Erica and I are headed out to try and get him. I have a Milk poster and a Jonah Hex poster for Josh and the cast. Let’s cross our fingers and hope that all works out… sigh….
2:45 p.m. – Erica and I just arrived… It’s damn hot… I mean like sweat dipping off the small of your back hot… blech….
2:57 p.m. – There are about 7 other people here… All Megan Fox fans… I like her, can’t say that I don’t but I wouldn’t wait all day for her… sigh… I do have my Jonah Hex poster for her, plus a Rolling Stone and an Esquire magazine.
3:09 p.m. – Erica stole, I mean… cough cough… borrowed my Transformers mini poster for her to sign… John Malkovich is also supposed to be here… sigh… I have him on my Being John Malkovich one sheet already but I brought my DVD as well. You never know right?
3:34 p.m. – Oh dear God, it’s damn hot… I’m not feeling good about today. Today is one of those days when really all you want to do is stay home and not get around… One of the main reasons today is weird is that it’s Megan Fox and all the creepy collectors from all over the world have started to arrive to try and get her… I’m skeeved out for God sakes!
3:45 p.m. – If skeeved is not an official Webster’s word, it sure should be….sigh…
4:09 p.m. – Security has the barricade straight across, which means at some point they are going to have to move it. We are all in line and hopefully can remain sitting in line for a while. Sigh…
4:18 p.m. – Great a couple girls came by and would not stay in line so they rushed up on the barricade and now everyone got up. I’ll get up, he’ll get up, it’ll be anarchy! That was a paraphrase… I might ask Erica if we can leave… I just might…
4:21 p.m. – A guy just walked by in a cowboy hat… Jonah Hex live and in person!
4:35 p.m. – The sun is so bright… I am so sweaty, it’s not a good feeling… and we’re in a crowd of men, I think I’m in hell… really… I don’t think this could get any worse. Well, if suddenly Jewel walked over with her banjo and started playing some acoustic “hits” then maybe it could get worse… sigh…
4:43 p.m. – Oh, dear security is looking over here…
4:48 p.m. – I just told Erica to get ready… She’s next to me, but I’m more on the outside… All this for Josh-freaking-Brolin! Erica you Goonie!
5:03 p.m. – It is so hot I can feel the heat radiating off the guy behind me… ugh… that’s way too frakking close… yes, I said it… frakking…
5:11 p.m. – Oh no… Security is coming over with barricades… We’re getting moved… Oh God help us…
5:15 p.m. – They want to move us now… Oh my…
5:17 p.m. – Okay, so security wants us to lose half our space after waiting so frakking long… they want us to “condense”… I’m not leaving… so now everyone is mashing up together… really? Come on… why didn’t they just set this up earlier? Why make a scene, and then blame us for not leaving a space we claimed hours ago…
5:21 p.m. – Oh my God, they are squishing us… I can’t turn around… and I’m not even quoting the Ace of Base song…. I really can’t turn around. I can’t get in my bag to pull out a pen. I keep asking Erica if she’s okay. She’s squished next to me and can’t see over the top of people’s heads…
5:35 p.m. – Jesus help me, oh yeah, I’m hearing a song, and I think Jewel is playing her acoustic hits. I have never been this squished in all my life, not even at Comic-Con… at Comic-Con they are smelly, gross, and sweaty but they are, for lack of a better term, having fun. This is not fun. I can feel the fat rolls of the guy behind me… and the guy just hacked up a phlegm ball and spit it on the ground… Ugh…
5:47 p.m. – The guy behind me keeps pushing his belly into my back to try and get an extra inch forward. I’m pushing back trying to allow Erica some room to get her Transformers poster in to get signed. All this for the Goonies… I really want to leave….
6:01 p.m. – The smell of sweat and body odor is permeating… and I think the guy behind me is sweating though his shirt… I might pass out… I might pass out right now…
6:05 p.m. – Oh and the red carpet arrivals START at 7:00 p.m. – a half hour later than usual… wonderful.
6:26 p.m. – A man behind us keeps holding up a hand painted portrait of John Malkovich… even though the premiere hasn’t started. I don’t know if he’s trying to block the sun or get the attention of the security that put us in this mess… sigh…
6:34 p.m. – I think I might really pass out…
6:41 p.m. – Erica just asked me if I want to leave. I really do, but then I would have waited four hours for nothing… leaving at the end just cause of the belly, body odor, sweat, and personal space issues seems a little silly at THIS point. Someone just grabbed my ass…
6:43 p.m. – It wasn’t really my ass, more like my ass crack… how can that be when I still feel the belly pressing in on me… Oh God, I need Calgon to take this all away…
6:56 p.m. – The press just filed into their pens… the belly just spit yet again, and I’ve lost Erica in the sea of people. She needs a flair gun so I can tell where she is.
7:01 p.m. – This is like old times though when it was just me and Erica out and about…before the formation of the Mike Gets Around gang… lol… I’m delirious… really I am.
7:13 p.m. – Oh someone just arrived…It’s some girl… who knows… the list for this premiere is pretty small…
7:26 p.m. – Wes Bentley from American Beauty is here… People are calling out for him, but I don’t think he’s going to come over. The funny thing is again I’m the only one who actually wants to see this movie. So, that means it will probably bomb just like MacGruber… sigh… not that I saw MacGruber but still… lol…
7:37 p.m. – Oh it looks like Josh Brolin has arrived… The belly is inching even closer on my back now… I’m not moving belly, do you hear me?!
7:41 p.m. – Wow, James Brolin and Barbara Streisand are here… damn!
7:46 p.m. – Oh, Megan Fox just arrived… no Malkovich!
7:48 p.m. – Wes Bentley refused to sign… What a jerk! Josh Homme is here… Oh god, when M’Lou reads this she is going to poo… [Editor's Note: I can confirm that M'Lou in fact pooed]
7:50 – Lance Reddick is here as well… again no signing happening on his end… damn this is a hot, sticky and uneventful premiere!
7:56 p.m. – Oh Jesus, everyone is yelling for Josh Brolin, but he’s going inside… are you kidding? It’s his movie and he’s not even going to sign for people, you have to be shitting me. All this time wasted! For frakk’s sake!
7:59 p.m. – Erica is super bummed….She’s clutching her Goonies card and looking super sad. I’m sad because I have a belly on my back that’s not even mine…
8:06 p.m. – Megan Fox is still out there… everyone is yelling for her, and she said she will sign after she’s done with press.
8:15 p.m. – She’s still doing press… God bless her…
8:22 p.m. – Oh shit, here she comes… Megan is coming over and the whole crowd is shifting. The belly is going crazy, jumping and jiggling behind me, and I feel every movement… ugh… You have no choice but to move when the crowd does cause we are so packed in here…
8:25 p.m. – Megan is coming around to our side…Erica gets her Transformers poster out… I’m plugging away with Jonah Hex… She’s almost on our side now… Oh Jesus, I’m so squished… I’m in hell, third dimension…
8:28 p.m. – Megan is signing a lot… She is coming our way, I ask her to sign the Jonah Hex poster and she actually looks for it and signs it. Then, I grabbed my magazines to get done. Erica tosses her Transformers poster over my head and Megan signs it. I told Erica she got it, and then I whipped out the Rolling Stone. Then once that was signed the Esquire… I’m about to lose a body part I’m getting squished so much… she moves down the line and pretty much gets everyone…
8:34 p.m. – She even takes pictures with people… even though I can’t imagine them turning out… sigh… Megan looks great by the way, I’m very impressed. I have officially lost Erica… She is buried in the crowd… What a brave little toaster…
8:39 p.m. – Oh my God, Megan just left… she must have signed hundreds of things. One guy got 7! I thought I did well with my three! Damn! Lol… After today I need a drink! I just want to shower, get some food, and sleep… not in that order…
8:41 p.m. – I just saw the guy who was in back of me spitting again while walking into the parking structure… I really need that shower… ugh… I want to throw up a little…
Check out the full set of photos from the Jonah Hex premiere!
Tags: autographs, jonah hex, megan fox, premieres
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