Shirley Maclaine Signing Report!

Today is going to be a strange day. My lovely friend Erica has been trying hard… and I mean hard with a capital H to get Ms. Shirley Maclaine to sign her In Her Shoes DVD insert.  What can I say; my friend loves her female buddy comedies, and has been infatuated with this movie for a long long time.  As Ms. Garrett once said when she saw Tootie making a paper mache bust of Jermaine Jackson, “Girls… She’s something else she’s obsessed.”  Far be it for me to judge, I own Grease 2, Troop Beverly Hills, and Funny Farm on dvd so I’m not going to say anything.  Ah Erica, I understand your passion…. Okay, before Erica goes all evil Willow on me and flays me like Warren Meers circa Buffy season 6 I’ll come clean… I wanted Ms. Shirley Maclaine on my Steel Magnolias poster… there I said it.  Are you happy?  ARE YOU?  Sigh…

2:00 p.m. – It’s a blistering Saturday, and I’m already sweating.  Erica got dragged here for me, and yes I do admit it.  This is a strange day, and I feel kind of awkward about it.  See, there is this… Memorial service, now wait… before anyone thinks we’re crashing a funeral… it’s a tribute to Fred Travelena who was a master impressionist and singer.  Check out www.fredtravalena.com, it is a wonderful tribute site.  Anyway, it’s at a church… it’s really not that bad… sigh…

2:15 p.m. – God it’s hot.  We’re the only ones here and we think we spotted Shirley’s car.  So, we’re just hanging out.  Erica is melting, God bless her, but for the love of Steel Magnolias we must press on.

2:34 p.m. – I thought the event would be over by now, Erica thinks it will be over by three.  Who knows?  We do know we are thirsty, and feeling a tad bit awkward hanging out by a church.  It’s a tribute though see, it’s not like I’m going to knock a pall bearer over to get her to sign my poster!  A tribute is different than a memorial… It is.

3:31 p.m. – Hmmm still no movement.   The man we think is Shirley’s driver is pacing, well he’s getting in the car, and then starting the car, and then walking inside the building.  I think he’s toying with us.  Everyone has to have some fun.

3:39 p.m. – There are a couple people who are leaving the ceremony… well show… Look, there’s singing and dancing, that makes this a tribute… There, enough don’t you judge me!

3:49 p.m. – The people leaving look really sad… oh God are we really crashing a funeral?  Is this how low Erica has sunk.  Her love of In Her Shoes has driven us to crash a funeral for this poor late comedian!  Erica for shame…

3:50 p.m. – Erica just hit me… I have video.

3:59 p.m. – Okay, we’re going to do a lap around the church, and if we think it is indeed a funeral, then we’re going home.

4:01 p.m. – Did I mention it’s 110 degrees outside?

4:09 p.m. – Okay, we’re at the front… There is a giant poster featuring Ms. Maclaine with her hands up that reads, “Shirley Maclaine starring in the memorial for Fred Travelena!  There are stars all over it, and Ms. Maclaine’s face is cut out in a giant star.  I wish I had a photo.  Do you know what this means?   Huh?  IT’S A TRIBUTE AND NOT A FUNERAL!

4:11 p.m. – See Erica… Tribute… HEH!

4:15 p.m. – Erica just said she wants her own column so she can tell her side of the story… LOL… I think not!

4:16 p.m. – Dear God, it’s hot.  I feel like I’ve been walking through the desert for a year.  We’re cutting through the courtyard, and they have a mini reception set up.  This guy approaches us and asks us if we would like some water.  Erica and I pause.

4:17 p.m. – We tell the guy we’re not with the TRIBUTE and he says it’s okay we can have water.

4:18 p.m. – I have just downed three glasses of ice water.  Praise Jesus.

4:32 p.m. – We’re at the back door again… Wait there’s movement.  Oh I’m just delirious with heat exhaustion… No wait, the door is opening.  It’s Shirley.  Erica, I yell, “There she is.”  Erica sprints over, well she more politely saunters as I follow behind.

4:33 p.m. – Rip Taylor is walking out with Shirley, and they are talking.  He says something about looking like a stuffed piñata; again I’m slightly delirious so I’m not a 100% sure.  Erica walks over and politely asks Ms. MacLaine for an auto and I do the same.  She graciously signs for us, one item each but doesn’t say much.  That’s cool.  It’s just great she was willing to do it.  And now I have both Shirley and Olympia Dukakis on my poster!  And Erica has fulfilled part of her destiny to get her In Her Shoes insert fulfilled!  We’re now both going to down a gallon of water and rehydrate!